We would all agree that a “sex addict” is controlled by evil desires. More accurately, a sexual sinner is control by what they want. What about the rest of us? Paul said “we all once lived in the passion of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind” (Eph. 2:3). All of us, whatever our family of origin, have this same influential sinful background. We all lived in the passion of our flesh, doing what we wanted. That is, we were controlled by what we wanted. The biblical view is that sin comes from within. Past events may trigger sin, but they don’t create the triggers. We are internally driven by a commitment to carry out our own desires. The desires that controlled us were the desires of the body and the mind. The truth is that those who are not really following Christ are controlled by what they want. Outwardly a Christian, there is no change from the inside out, just a level of external conformity!

Every man wants respect. That desire is often expressed in having a successful career or ministry. Is he controlled by what he wants? Our true motives are not a deep mystery. Wrong motives and desires will never bear the fruit of righteousness. There will be bad fruit exhibited in handling competition, criticism, neglect of wife and family, along with anger and depression. This is the fruit that indicates that the man is controlled by what he wants.

The problem of unfaithfulness also illustrates my point. Betrayal and deception always go together when a spouse is unfaithful. No longer wanting to be deceived, a wife, discovering her husband’s unfaithfulness, wants to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. She wants the honest truth, but is she controlled by what she wants?

We all have desires, but sinful desires often disguise themselves as our expectations, felt needs, goals, wishes, and longings. Legitimate desires can conceal the truth that we are ultimately controlled by what we want. When we follow the desires of the body and mind we can fall into sexual sin. But those same desires of the mind can rule a person as strongly as an “addiction.” In fact, legitimate desires for money, reputation, security, love, success, comfort, looks, career, and meaningful marriages are so subtle and deceitful that we easily justify such desires and end up being controlled by what we want.

How do we know if we are controlled by what we want? The wife wants the “honest truth.” Yet once that honest truth is told, despair often increases. “How do I know you are being fully honest with me?” “How do I know you will be honest with me in the future?” If she is being controlled by what she really wants—never to be deceived again—she will not find peace. “A sinful fear is the craving for something not to happen” (David Powlison). What is the true motive of her heart? If a wife wants her husband to change and be sexually pure in order to control her fear—getting what she really wants—she will reveal the true motive and desire of her heart by being manipulative, fearful, angry and suspicious. This is the fruit that is certain indication that she is controlled by what she wants. On the other hand, if her desire is to be faithfully loved by her husband and to have him right with God, she will reveal the “hidden person” in her heart and the “beauty of a gentle quiet spirit as she loves and respects her husband. Such beauty, with love and respect is the fruit that reveals that God is in control.

The problem in the heart isn’t that we want something. We could want something good, something bad. In either case, the core problem is that we demand to have what we want. Everyone who has been betrayed must forgive the past without attempting to control the future so that it never happens again. The desire is right, but being controlled by the desire destroys the relationship. It will put the person in a position of suspicion and fear and leave them spiritually and sexually immature.

I can hear all the objections: “What’s wrong with wanting my husband to be faithful?” There is nothing wrong with desire! No one wants pain, rejection or abandonment. What is wrong is when that desire rules you rather than God. That results in the obvious outward displays of anger, complaining, and despair. Real truth brings peace and contentment in all circumstances. True followers of Christ in difficult circumstances “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work” (Col. 1:10). A husband and wife in the difficult circumstances of marital unfaithfulness can, through the work of God in their hearts, come to see what rules them. They can repent and find God’s grace that brings real change from the inside out. God doesn’t take away our ability to desire. He has promised to change what we really want; to want what He wants. We can have new desires and motives that rule our hearts and dramatically change behaviors and relationships.

Recommended Resources

Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream, by David Platt. This book is radical because it will challenge you to look at how we have manipulated the gospel to fit our needs. What does the Christian lifestyle actually look like? Pastor Platt gives sound biblical answers.

The Sovereignty of God, by Arthur W. Pink. Are you confused about the sovereignty of God? This doctrine is so “diametrically opposed to the natural pride of the human heart” we need to by faith develop it in our hearts as a sound doctrine and then live responsible lives.

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Follow Dr. Schaumburg at twitter.com/lastport

Sexual redemption involves more than resolution of sexual problems and challenges. For example, most Christian couples know that God designed fulfilling sex for marriage but many fail to experience it. Trying “seven tips to enhance your love life” may bring some excitement but there’s more to sexuality than romantic techniques. Sexual redemption is larger than a fulfilling sex life in marriage.

And how might sexual redemption relate to childhood sexual abuse? I started my counseling career working with incestuous families and since then have counseled hundreds of men and women sexually abused as children. The violation of another person sexually is very harmful. Forgiving your abuser is an important first step, but there is more to understanding our fragile sexuality than that. Sexual redemption takes us beyond the healing of past wounds and calls us to glorify God spiritually and sexually.

Sexual redemption also addresses any clinging shame related to premarital sex. Of the three thousand people of counseled through our intensive counseling program, 40 percent were in full time Christian work. Yet I estimate conservatively that less than 20 percent were virgins when they married.

Remaining a virgin until marriage, a practice all but lost within the church, is still God’s standard. But being a virgin or a “technical virgin” on your wedding night isn’t all that God intends. Sexual redemption is living spiritually and sexually for a purpose other than a self-seeking agenda.

The way we handle our sexuality and spirituality is meant to show the supremacy of Christ. We know—or we should know—that this is true, but do we really understand it and own it in our hearts? Every person is a sexual being, created in the image of God. Now that sounds inviting, but the truth is we also are all fallen sinners. If we separate our sexuality and spirituality into different compartments, we not only diminish our sexual beauty, our sexual purity, and our sexual meaning but also our very soul. Our soul and our sexuality are profoundly connected, and yet we have lost this correlation between knowing Christ and sexual wholeness.

Knowing Christ is to govern all of our sexuality and all of our spirituality in a way that expresses the image of God and demonstrates that we are walking worthy of our calling. The loss of holy spirituality and holy sexuality brings into question our sexual redemption and whether we know God as we should.

Undefiled is about a full sexuality and a full spirituality that can only be found by finding satisfaction in God and God alone. This book is also about dedicating your sexuality, your spirituality, your life—all for His highest. Sexual redemption begins at the cross, is rooted in a change of heart, and is lived out in a relationship before and after two sinners say “I do.”

There’s no shortcut through the process of acknowledging sin and experiencing redemption. But there’s also no need to think that the process will take years before true change begins! No follower of Christ ever has to say about any problem, “I guess I will always be an addict or trapped in bondage to sin.” No, no, no, no! That is not the message of the gospel.

Let God work. Regardless of how you got to where you are, don’t limit God now because of your fears. Your marriage may be hanging by a thread. I know you may be thinking, We’ve tried everything and nothing has worked. Why should this be any different? Nothing is going to change!

All I ask is that you not limit God. He cares and I can tell you that I have seen incredibly real, lasting change in many, many couples.
So boldly ask the question: “What sexual redemption would I like to see in my life and marriage?”

The above article is an excerpt from Undefiled: Redemption From Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships (Moody Publishers, 2009).

Undefiled by Harry Schaumburg

Moody Publishers is shipping Undefiled. Order your copy at Amazon.com. Tell you friends, pastor and family.

Sexual Redemption: Life Changing Spirituality & Sexuality
by Harry Schaumburg

This is an all new 15 week personal study for individuals and couples based on Undefiled. It is available exclusive at www.restoringsexualpurity.org for download.

• 22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
• 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
• Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
• 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses’ extramarital activity.
• 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.
• Up to 37% of men and 22% of women admit to having affairs.
• Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship.
• About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage.

Statistics are disturbing to read but can be held at arm’s length until they become personal. When a couple becomes part of the statistics and is battling the horror of adultery in their marriage, it is very, very personal and the agony is real. Through the study of scripture and counseling hundreds couples struggling to survive unfaithfulness, I’m convinced that adultery is preventable. I recently taught a seminar for pastors at the Moody Bible Institutes’s Pastor’s Conference: “Keeping Your Marriage Bed Undefiled.” Click the following link to purchase and download this seminar. My book that deals with this subject from a biblical foundation, Undefiled: Redemption from Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships, is available with a pre-order discount on amazon.com.

Pastor Joseph Garlington, Senior Pastor, Covenant Church of Pittsburgh
says this about Undefiled:

“The often quoted saying, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.’ holds true in this recent work of Dr. Harry Schaumburg. The Church of Jesus Christ is thoroughly enmeshed in one moral crisis after the other, and we have been in desperate need for a truly biblical answer to this crisis. Several thousand years ago, someone said, “…Increased years should teach wisdom.” It is evident that Dr. Schaumburg’s years of experience and his commitment to a thoroughly biblical approach to dealing with this issue has produced a work that shines with penetrating light into the one of the darkest areas of 21st century Christian life. I commend this work as a handbook for study in every church, as a resource to every pastor who has or will face this matter in their ministry and as a diagnostic tool for personal evaluation of one’s own life and walk. No pastor’s library should be without this wonderful tool. If Undefiled is taken seriously, it could produce a sea change in Christian behavior.”

Realize that such public sins are always exposed; obviously to God, but also everyone who cares about a breach of righteousness. Sins are committed in the open, we don’t care who sees. We don’t care if God sees and hears it all, nor do we seriously consider what people think. This is supreme arrogance! Without question, your sins have found you out. What is in the heart has been revealed.

Secret sins are no different. This sexual sinner is just more foolish. He or she knows that the sin, if discovered, will be denounced by all: a marriage could be lost, a family destroyed, a career ended, health ruined, finances decimated, and some will be incarcerated. We shouldn’t be surprised by the lies and level of deception used to hide the sin. After all, sinful arrogant logic dictates a cover up. The stupidity in this type of sin is not the harmful lying in and of itself, but the level of foolishness that is indicated by the cover up. No one said it more directly than the Apostle John, “Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil (public or secret sin), the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8).

Enter the technological age of the Internet, cell phone, and digital camera. In the dark ages of pornography−not that long ago−you could throw the porn away after looking at it or succeed hiding your stash. Those days are gone. Once the Internet became the primary means of accessing pornography, discovery went up dramatically. It wasn’t long before wives found the evidence of cybersex, children stumbled on to their parent’s problem, and employers got wise to the misuse of time. God, in His providential knowledge and sovereign oversight, uses technology to let others know what he knows. God wants to expose sin. With arrogance we foolishly respond with the new “porn mode.” On August 25, 2008, Microsoft officials confirmed that the company would provide private browsing, a k a “porn mode,” with Internet Explorer (IE) 8 Beta 2. With its private browsing feature called “InPrivate,” Microsoft is allowing users to cover their online tracks. Don’t be fooled; God is bigger than Microsoft. Your sins will still be found out because God is full of grace and mercy toward the sexual sinner.

Teenagers are now “sexting” with their cell phones. I can’t imagine teens in my day taking indecent Polaroid pictures of themselves or of one another and passing the photos out at school. This is child pornography and a crime, and now teens are being arrested for such activity. Be sure your sins will find you out.

Street View isn’t as good as God’s surveillance of our secret lives. Nevertheless, you have to be impressed with how God uses technology to expose sin. A wife filed for divorce after spotting her husband’s car parked outside another woman’s house. In and of itself this is not new, but with Google’s Street View the wife was able to confirm her suspicions by the surveillance of a friend’s home and seeing her husband’s car there. Watch out; God sees everything. While we have a long way to go before we match His ability, other sinners are now catching sinners on camera. The motives and intentions of the heart are definitely at work for both the sinner and the suspicious spouse. No telling who is watching what!

“You have sinned against the Lord, and be sure your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23). The actual rendering is “you will suffer for your sin.” God reigns, not chance. He is visional; He sees all! Be careful what you do; “there’s a Father up above looking down in tender love,” as the children’s chorus goes. He knows whether you are faithful and He doesn’t tolerate unfaithfulness from anyone. This is not a human judge who determines the merit of the evidence collected by a third party and renders a guilty verdict if evidence is admissible. This is a Judge who sees the crime himself and sits in final judgment. The verdict is never in doubt. The marvelous wonder is that Christ himself has borne the penalty of our guilt!

If we know Christ, it is an all-out war against all sin, because it is an all-out war against the devil; therefore a fight against the practice of all sinning. There is no neutrality. Which side are you on? “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming” (Col. 3:5, 6). You can’t run; you can’t hide. Be decisive and make a break from the practice of sinning. Your life depends upon it.

Coming in September−Undefiled: Redemption From Sexual Sin, Restoration for Broken Relationships, by Harry Schaumburg, bestselling author of False Intimacy.

Amid the chaos of cybersex, impersonal sex, adultery, homosexuality, and sexual dissatisfaction in marriage, Undefiled calls readers toward a new kind of sexual revolution. Sexual impurity creates a vicious circle, one that springs from misconceptions about Christ and further taints our understanding of Him. Yet another circle is available to men and women trapped in sin, a circle of sexual redemption.

When practiced as God intends, spirituality and sexuality both draw us closer to Christ. Spiritual maturity and sexual maturity go hand-in-hand, and together they hold out the promise of redemption and restoration needed by everyone who has been damaged by sexual sin.

There is hope. Real change is possible; true intimacy is available. To the person who has failed time and time again sexually, God’s message is simple: You, too, can be undefiled.

Our ministry not only attempts to meet the felt needs of lives and marriages broken by sexual sin, but also to awaken faith and courage when evil prevails. To live in the truth is always rock-solid; to live in perpetual comfort and fulfillment is shifting sand. Our purpose for everyone who comes for help is to convey an understanding that sin and evil, no matter how horrific, never nullifies the purpose of God. In fact, horrific sins exist in God’s unfathomable providence and by them His purposes come to pass. If this is the rock-solid truth on which we stand, then with our worst enemy—including an unfaithful spouse—we can learn that, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). Love is always active, never passive. It covers all things, patiently endures all things, always supports, never gives up, and it always endures. Peter writes, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8). This is not a soft love without wisdom and discernment; rather, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good” (Rom. 12:9).

Fireproofing your life and marriage is more than living by the superficial tactics of many of today’s Christian gurus or reading the best-selling Christian self-help book. The path to fireproofing your life and marriage is through death; the death of our sin, the denial of ourselves and a life-long commitment to the purpose and glory of God. The secret simplicity of fireproofing our lives and marriages from all sexual unfaithfulness, whether of the heart or physical, is found in the following seven biblical essentials:

1st Biblical Essential: A Consistent Diet of “Meat” Heb. 5:11-14

1. To be skilled in the word of righteousness
2. To have the powers of discernment
3. To distinguish good from evil

2nd Biblical Essential: A Rigorous Training in the Grace of God Titus 2:11, 12

1. To renounce ungodliness
2. To renounce worldly passions
3. To live self-controlled, upright and godly lives

3rd Biblical Essential: A Well-Established Heart James 5:8-11

1. To be patient
2. To not grumble
3. To remain steadfast

4th Biblical Essential: A Determined Effort to Supplement Faith 2 Peter 1:5-11

1. To increase these qualities
2. To not lack these qualities
3. To practice these qualities

5th Biblical Essential: A Strict Departure from the Old Life Col. 3:5-14

1. To put to death what is earthly
2. To put away; put off the old self
3. To put on the new self

6th Biblical Essential: A Restless Diligence Heb. 2:1; 3:12

1. To avoid unbelief
2. To not be hardened
3. To be firm to the end

7th Biblical Essential: A Concerted Effort Must Be Made Heb. 12:15-16

1. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God.
2. See to it that no root of bitterness springs up.
3. See to it that no one is sexually immoral.
4. See to it that no one is unholy like Esau.

On a biblical basis we must hate our sin, repent of our sin, and seek to kill our sin. The process must be promoted in our hearts; not for self-serving purposes, the avoidance of serious consequence, or for the preservation of a marriage. This is all done for the glory of God. Any attempt to deal with sexual sin must be founded on the admonition of Paul: “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” Romans 8:13.

Pornography hasn’t always been as accessible as it is today. It used to be an indulgence of the rich and until several years ago, a man had to drive across town, walk into a video store, and ask the store owner where the secret stash was. It’s a different world now; porn is accessible virtually anywhere, anytime, from a laptop to a cell phone. The potential for personal/relational destruction has dramatically increased as frequency and accessibility make it more likely that you will get caught. Increasing numbers of people are losing jobs, marriages and families. The future looks all the more bleak for the next generation when we realize that 90% of 8-16 year-olds have already viewed pornography on the Internet. Many accidentally run into it while doing their homework, but more often, mothers report that their sons are finding evidence of the father’s pornography.

The Scriptures clearly indicate God’s standard for sexual intimacy, which He created specifically and solely as an expression between husband and wife. From Genesis, to the Song of Solomon, to the teachings of Jesus and the writings of Paul, sexual intimacy has a divine purpose that cannot be found in false intimacy. In 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, Paul lays out a mutually satisfying and God-glorifying picture of sexual intimacy in marriage. Many Christian couples fall well below that experience. Is there a solution?

In Matthew 5:27-30, Jesus raises the bar higher than His listeners previously thought by declaring that “…everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (vs. 28). Then He states “If your right eye causes you to, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” (vs. 29). This severe demand shows us the true nature of Jesus’ teaching on the subject and our radical need to solve the problem, and solve it completely. Jesus is not teaching self-mutilation. Your eyes don’t make you look at pornography again and again; the desire comes from your heart and mind. Therefore, just turning and looking away is never going to work. Jesus is saying that the situation is desperate; you could lose everything. The act of adultery must be avoided at all cost, but so must all the things that lead to an attitude of looking.

Real change seems impossible, but with God, all things are possible. Bouncing your eyes, following twelve steps or some form of behavior management is limited at best in conquering the problem and saving a marriage. The solution is based on a number of key elements:

▪ Cease resisting the sovereignty of God in the painful events of our lives, past, present and future.

▪ Come to believe that all lust is a problem of unbelief due to a disregard for God and others.

▪ Recognize the deception of our own hearts.

▪ Kill sin before it kills us.

▪ Identify the self-centeredness of our hearts and understand that it is expressed in many forms besides sexual sin.

▪ Understand the power of self-pity in setting us up for the justification of our sexual sin.
Cultivate a deep love for others in thought and deed.

▪ Accept the verdict that “…if you live according to the flesh you will die” (Romans 8:13).

▪ Believe the prescription that “…if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of body, you will live” (Romans 8:13).

There are many varieties of resources, programs and counselors available. Stone Gate Resources offers a program that has been considered uniquely effective for over seventeen years, especially for those with a history of repeated failure in counseling. The program takes place in a private retreat facility on the front range of Colorado. A person does not need to spend years in counseling or recovery. Lasting change is possible through a program that is biblically grounded, relationally focused, and spiritually challenging. The program includes private counseling, seminars and a comprehensive guided study program.

Copyright 2008 Harry W. Schaumburg. For web posting, please link to this page on our website. Any exceptions must be approved by Harry Schaumburg.

The concept of being powerless is directly connected to believing in inevitability and the unintentional nature of the person’s behavior. As the reasoning goes, the person is not a bad person; he or she has a chronic, progressive, and some like Ann Wilson Schaef believe, a potentially “fatal disease”.¹ Therefore, if the person did not intend to go to a prostitute, topless bar or look at pornography they should not be censured or punished. Addictive patterns are seen as a learned disease: “if we learned it, it is not who we are.”² With this new understanding they can begin to restructure their beliefs. Their thinking can shift from “I am basically a bad, unworthy person,” to an understanding that they are basically a good person with a disease; a disease caused by abuse, a shame-based family, or from words that destroy self-worth. This new view of self allows them to distinguish themselves as an individual from their powerful illness. Their new belief is: “I am a worthwhile person deserving of pride.” Please note, “plausible arguments” (Col. 2:4) such as these entice many desperate souls precisely because the arguments are appealing, sound reasonable and seem to be equivalent to the sound biblical doctrine of total depravity. However, there is a huge difference between being powerless over a disease and powerless over sin. On a practical level, what’s at stake is real freedom over sexual sin versus behavior management.

Second, recovery from sex and love addiction requires that an addict come to an understanding and state that they “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” While some form of faith is required, it is not based on any specific conception of God. Yet faith is seen as essential because it is the beginning of their spiritual healing. Faith initially comes from being in contact with sober sex and love addicts in regular meetings. There the addict sees and hears that others with the disease have progressed to lead positive and healthy lives. Now they have power, now there is hope. As they experience this power from the group it brings the realization that a “. . . belief in any specific God or divinity was unnecessary. Our need for faith could be answered with an affirming hope, a sense of the possibility for spiritual guidance that was already apparent in the experience of the members of the group who preceded us.”³ Once again, it is very easy for the Christian seeking help to be taken “…captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ” (Col. 2:8). Many attending such groups have reported how meaningful their group experience has become because whenever they ‘slip’ they will find acceptance from the group and the encouragement to continue working the 12 steps. Christian fellowship, accountability, and support groups can offer a powerful level of acceptance without diligently going about our responsibility to “See to it…that no one is sexually immoral” (Heb. 12:15, 16). And that “…sexual immorality and all impurity …must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints” (Eph. 5:3).

Third, and underlying these beginning steps in the recovery process, is the strong belief that the sex and love addict will remain an addict, hopefully sober, but still identified as an addict with an illness for life. Being a sex or love addict—and talking as a sex and love addict—is the price of membership in the group. One could quickly assume that this lines up with the idea that we are not sinless and are all sinners saved by grace. While many Christians mix the concepts of sexual sin and sexual addiction, it is not a match in addictionology. The view that sexual addiction is a sin is clearly unacceptable, even dangerous, to many in the recovery community. Their criticism would sound like this: “Moral models are based on beliefs or judgments of what is right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable. These judgments imply that people who compulsively use sex are bad or sinful people; that there is something morally wrong with them. This model contributes little to our understanding of why people use sex compulsively and offers no real help to those who have problems in their lives because of their sexual behavior.” Paul in opposing ascetic disciplines had a different view, saying it is “self-made religion” (Col. 2:23). Jesus warns, quoting Isaiah, “‘…in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men’” (Matt. 15:9). We must be careful not to embrace spiritual exercises done at the dictate of presumptuous human thought. Self-made religion is not only worthless because it only changes behavior, but it excites its own “indulgence of the flesh” (Col. 2:23) such as pride and arrogance.

Many Christians who struggle with sex and love addiction desperately seek help. Seeing no contradiction with the understanding of recovery, they move to change some of the wording to make the concepts sound more spiritual. I believe there is another view of change and it’s not just semantics. I express this view not to attack others in their struggle and not to declare that I have a better way than anyone else. I will insist on another view for the sake of Truth and for all those in bondage to sexual sin, so they have an opportunity for real freedom, not just behavior management. I believe that there is hope through sexual redemption. This approach to real change has withstood the test of time and effectiveness beyond any contemporary program of behavior management or self-help. Its history extends far beyond the world’s most popular self-help groups started by Bill Wilson and Bob Smith in 1935. It is older than the Wesleyan movement, the Puritan movement, John Calvin, Martin Luther, and Augustine. Sexual redemption takes us back to the Cross of Christ and the power of the resurrection. We must honestly ask, “Do we believe more in the power of sexual addiction as a disease than we believe in the power of the resurrection to conquer sin?”

We must insist, that a man or a woman caught in the paralytic bondage of sexual sin is only a “sex addict” for life if Christ has not been raised from the dead. “But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain” (1 Cor. 15:13-14). For anyone to deny, even by implication, that the power of the resurrection doesn’t work to break the bondage of sin weakens, if not destroys, the heart of the gospel message.

I have sympathy and great concern for all who have prayed to have their sexual sin taken away and seen no results. That experience is not sufficient reason to question the power of the resurrection. One reason this happens is the failure to understand and live out the power of the resurrection. The power that raised Christ from the dead is real power. The resurrection of Christ has no spiritual value and there is no sexual redemption if this historical foundation does not exist. Paul clearly states that our faith is utter futility without the power of the resurrection. “And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and your are still in your sins” (vs. 17). If Christ has not been raised, you can’t say, “And such were some of you. But you were washed…(1 Cor. 6:11), referring to “…sexually immoral….adulterers” (vs. 9).. The gospel teaches that “…Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification” (Rom. 4:25) is a reality. Christ’s death is for our redemption and our sanctification. Equally, we must insist that we are now “…raised with Christ…” (Col. 3:1), “Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead” (Col.2:12).

The death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus offers deep encouragement to those discouraged in their struggle with sexual sin. Though you may have been abused, raised in a shame-based family, and your self-worth completely trashed, if you are in Christ you are not powerless over sexual sin. The questions are asked: how can you have the power of the resurrection in a life of darkness and evil, and your life filled with the fruit of righteousness (Philippians 1:11)? How, when your life is in jeopardy, or your job, or your marriage, or your health, or your respect in the community is on the line—how can you rise up and devote yourself to the will of God? The answer: to be free from sexual sin for the glory of God takes power in the best of circumstances. But to know freedom when your life is falling apart, that takes a power of soul which is utterly beyond us. We are given the power, we don’t earn it. We are called to “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality…” (Col. 3:5). If that is what we are called to do, then the power has to come from some source placed within us. “…being found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law (or, 12 steps), but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection…” (Phil. 3:9, 10). Paul prays, “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might…” (Col. 1:11). “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness…” (Vs. 13).

The Christian’s hope is a strong confidence in God who has power to produce change in how we live. If that is true, then a radical change in our desires and longings will mean a radical change in our sexuality. Something new comes into being, the power of the resurrection, and that is what Jesus and John and Paul and Peter call the new birth or regeneration. That is the reason Peter says we are “born anew to a living hope.”

The death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior means that there is sexual redemption. “The body is not meant for sexual immorality (it’s not built for it), but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power” (1 Cor. 6:13, 14). We dare not have the “…appearance of godliness, but denying its power” (2 Tim. 2:5). Are we powerless over sexual sin? Yes! But “you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Col. 3:3-5). Are we powerless? No! In the truest sense of raw power, there is a power that can raise the dead; an invincible power over the bondage of sexual sin. Death is the first step. It ends everything, nothing is left. Not one breath, not one word, and not one thought. With that first step there follows the second: resurrection power alive in us.

Resurrection power must be proceeded by death, our death (Romans 6:11), whereby Jesus Christ has complete and effective dominion over us. Once identified with His death, the resurrection power of Christ penetrates every bit of our earthly nature. Our part is to “…walk in a manner worthy of the Lord” (Col. 1:10). The power to overcome sexual sin is not in the support group, it is within us if we have died. “We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so the we would no longer be enslaved (addicted) to sin (sexual sin). For one who has died has been set free from sin.” (Romans 6:6, 7). Paul then states, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions” (Romans 6:12). “For sin will have no dominion over you (that’s real power), since you are not under the law but under grace” (vs. 14).

This is my prayer for everyone who is losing the battle with sexual sin and is desperate for real freedom: “Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Heb. 13:20, 21). Notice that there are two aspects to true freedom in Christ: “You may do His will, and God working in us. May you know a new level of surrender of your life, and then know the power of the resurrection.

Copyrighted 2008 Harry W. Schaumburg. For web posting, please link to this page on our website. Any exceptions must be approved by Harry Schaumburg.

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SOURCES

¹Anne Wilson Schaef, Escape from Intimacy—Untangling the “Love” Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships (New York: Harper & Row, 1990), 10.

²Ibid., 41, 42

³ The Augustine Fellowship. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (Boston, MA, Fellowship-Wide Service, 1986), p. 75

So many teachers and writers are feeding this inner monster. John Eldredge’s new book, Walking With God, sounds so inviting. The ad for the book appeal to us: “Wouldn’t it be amazing to hear God speaking directly to you; to know His counsel and encouragement today?” The ad goes on to say that the book “. . . shows you what it’s like to have a ‘conversational intimacy’ with the Father. You can experience a spiritual life more rich and exhilarating than you’ve ever known.” According to Eldredge, God has speak to him through the eyes of hawk looking him in the eye, and that those eyes were telling him that God looking down on you. Tim Challies states in his excellent review, “As a guide to hearing from God, it has little value. What the author teaches is fraught with peril.” Challies goes on to say, “Walking With God offers confusion rather than clarity. Take a pass on this one.” I totally agree!

What we need is intense spiritual reality. First, we desperately need to stop seeking a spirituality for our individual selves, or for our fulfillment alone. Second, we must understand what it means to be spiritually real. We don’t need a new revelation from God that we think is going to keep us happy, safe and in the center of His will. The guidance of the Lord runs throughout the Bible with repeated commands, instructions, admonitions, exhortations, rebukes and encouragements. Remember this: When you have a plan, even a plan for your spiritual life, relational life, or career, you are not in control. God is sovereign even when things don’t turn out right. God has a plan; God is in control. Within the broad framework of God’s spoken word we have the freedom to live our lives for the glory of God. Being spiritually real is not about looking into the eyes of a hawk, studying the shape of a cloud to see Jesus’ face, or imagining that you are dancing with Jesus with His hand on the small of your back guiding you through the dance. All that may sound inviting to anyone who wants spirituality that satisfies self. However, biblical spirituality starts with God at the center and continues with Him at the focus of attention for His glory. When that becomes our priority we will be drawn to the idea of “. . . stirring up your sincere mind by way of reminder, that you should remember the predictions of the holy prophets and the commandment of the Lord and Savior . . .” (2 Peter 3:1-3). Study the scriptures and be constantly reminded of how you are to live. I have just begun to read through the epistles with the purpose of looking for all the actions we are to take. In 1 & 2 Timothy, 1-3 John, Jude, and Ephesians I have found over one hundred directives, some of which were repeated throughout these seven books of the Bible. How many of them do you know? You will find directives like: “toil and strive” (1 Tim. 2:10); “guard the good deposit” (2 Tim. 1:14); “No one born of God makes a practice of sinning . . .” (1 John 3:9); “Keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life”(Jude 21); and “. . . walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called . . .” (Eph. 4:1).

To be spiritually real we must find in Christ’s death a penetrating practicality and the immensity of His love. We must cry out for the Spirit of God to take away the infirmities of our obstinately disobedient desires; to destroy our hateful lusts for sex, money, control, and personal fulfillment. We must see the wondrous Truth that in the Cross, ‘It is finished.’ There reality lies: redemption has been achieved; satisfaction of God’s wrath is complete, all guilt is gone, our sins are forgiven, hell is demolished, the Promise Land is open, and Christ is my Lord and Savior. Therefore, having been “. . . raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:1-3). It’s not about being in recovery, it’s all about “Putting to death therefore, what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity,, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming” (Col. 3:5, 6). Then “. . . walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work . . .” (Col. 1:10) by putting on the “new self” (Col. 3:10), and putting on “compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love . . .” (Col. 3:12-14.).

Let us pray that the lessons of scripture be deeply written upon our hearts as we walk, abhorring sin, fleeing sin, loving Christ and others; and that no device or empty words deceive us and lead us “. . . astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ” (see 2 Cor. 11:2-4).

Copyrighted 2008 Harry W. Schaumburg. For web posting, please link to this page on our website. Any exceptions must be approved by Harry Schaumburg.

In any consideration of endorsing or engaging in the behavior, we need to take into account whether one has decided to leave behind biblical authority and create a new approach to sexuality based on feelings, intentions or satisfaction of lustful desires. Second, consider whether the behavior conflicts with biblical teaching on sexuality and sexual immorality. Third, carefully consider God’s plan and design for sex. Fourth, prayerfully consider the following scriptures:

• “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provisions for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:14).
• “. . . Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality . . . will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10).
• “The body is not meant for sexual immorality (Gk. porneia), but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body” (1 Corinthians 6:13b).
• “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God . . .” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
• “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming” (Colossians 3:5, 6).
• “. . . to abstain from the passions of the flesh” because they “wage war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11).
• If we belong to Christ, we have “crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5:24).

The exhortation of God’s Word is clear: “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do” (Galatians 5:16-17).

Daniel R. Heimbach, in his book, True Sexual Morality: Recovering Biblical Standards for a Culture in Crisis, encourages us to consider God’s plan for sex by outlining His design. First, it is to be “exclusive” with another person of the opposite sex, a wife or husband without images or thoughts of another person. Second he states, God designed sex to be “profound,” which masturbation is not; it is superficial and a limited experience. Third, sex is to be “fruitful,” but masturbation treats sex like a thing or something impersonal, rather than an ability to create human life in God’s image. Fourth, he says that God designed to be “selfless” or God-centered, God glorifying. Masturbation, like all forms of false intimacy, is the opposite, it is self-centered and self-satisfying. Fifth, God made sex to be “complementary,” joining husband and wife in an expression of one flesh union put together by God. It is a union with one man, with one woman for life.

Dr. Heimbach gives us further instructions: “If masturbation refers directly to the practice by which a person brings himself or herself to orgasm without anyone else involved, then one is arousing their own male or female passions. It is non relational, same-sex arousal. A man thinking about his wife does not make the reality of the experience heterosexual.” Physical adultery, and even heart adultery (Matt. 5:28) is a serious violation of God’s law and His plan. Masturbation is still outside the biblical pattern and something to be avoided in order that we live consistently with the will of God and abstain from sexual immorality (see 1 Thess. 4:3).

To summarize, Dr. Heimbach’s arguments clarify that it is a form of false intimacy and should be considered sin. “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17):

• Sex is a part of a personal relationship with another person; masturbation is non relational.
• Sex is to be exclusive, one man, one woman relationship; masturbation typically involves sexually impure thoughts about other people.
• Sex is to be special and intimate, an expression of real intimacy; masturbation is frequent and shallow.
• Sex is to be fruitful (productive) in that man is designed to enter a woman and to create, both at a relational, spiritual and reproductive level; masturbation treats sex like a thing to be consumed.
• Sex is to take place within the context of selfless love; masturbation is designed to satisfy oneself.
• Sex is multidimensional; masturbation separates the physical from everything else.
• Sex is to be complementary; masturbation is non-unitive.

Overall, as a form of false intimacy, masturbation is a behavior that contradicts biblical teaching on sexuality and sexual purity and I believe is a type of sexual immorality.

Copyrighted 2008 Harry W. Schaumburg. For web posting, please link to this page on our website. Any exceptions must be approved by Harry Schaumburg.

For more than eight years, the evangelical church has been forced into an unwilling awareness that there is sexual sin in our midst. There is an increasing volume of books, articles, and seminars. New ministries and more counselors are jumping on the opportunity to sell a book, build a practice or establish a thriving ministry. Without a doubt, greater awareness is critical as men and women struggle in secret, marriages crumble, and another local church staggers at the revelation that their pastor has fallen. Greater awareness of a problem always stimulates a new industry, a new ministry, or a new technique. However, having been captured by a therapeutic culture and a persistent attitude that we can fix anything, I believe we fall prey to a psychological diagnosis and label the problem an addiction, a new biological disease. The disease concept of sexual addiction immediately weakens an already frayed understanding of sin, especially when its strong advocates tell the hurting and desperate that “using the word addiction helps us define the qualities of sin.”

Reading the cover article “Addicted to Sex: Why Many Men Are and What To Do About It,” in the March issue of Christianity Today heightened my fears that more and more people will be lead astray and lose sight of the fact that the truth of the gospel is only powerful when we know and believe in our hearts that sin is sin. With open minds we must realize how easy it is for well-meaning people to be deluded “. . .with plausible arguments” (Col. 2:4). In this spiritual crisis, like the church at Corinth in their struggle with sexual sin, we must “See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human traditions, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ” (vs. 8).

To even imagine, as the article suggests, that looking at pornography, having multiple affairs or visiting a prostitute is both a sexual addiction and sin shows the lack of sound doctrine. It is one or the other; it can’t be both. The two concepts cannot co-exist in our theology, and to attempt to do so reduces the effectiveness in combating this evil that now is so widespread and growing within Christian home. It is time to draw a line in our minds that clearly defines the truth, a truth we not only believe but guides our hearts and lives. We can’t afford, in this post-modern era, to say we believe in sin and then turn away from the power of the Gospel to flawed human techniques to heal a deceitful heart. Snapping a rubber band on your wrist, telling your secret sins in a group to find acceptance and comfort, or daily checking in with a sponsor will never conquer the sin that “clings so closely” and tears marriage to shreds. Removing human responsibility by theorizing that natural brain chemicals, androgens, or changes in neural circuits is the cause of compulsive sexual behavior may appeal to some who want an explanation that eases their conscience. Such theories lack the sharpness of a “. . . two-edged sword, . . . discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Heb. 4:12). Without conviction and the application of grace the best we can achieve is frustrating behavioral management. Researchers, as indicated by the Mayo Clinic, can establish theories, but the truth of sound doctrine offers an explanation that stands the rest of time and is for all people.

For the twenty-nine years that I have helped people out of the bondage to sexual sin there has been a consistent voice declaring that the cause lies within the family of origin and past history of abuse. Quoting Mark Laaser, a highly regarded expert in the field, the CT article states: “But the Internet has changed that. Now there are people without the extensive history [of abuse] who get sucked into sex addiction.” Do we actually believe that new technology creates a new problem? We so easily forget that nothing has changed from the days of Noah, just improved technology. “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually” (Gen. 6:5) Let’s not be naive. Easier access to pornography via computer’s use of the Internet didn’t suck people into a sexual addiction. It’s a machine; it is just bettered technology! It is the intention of the thoughts of heart toward evil that sucks us into greater levels of sexual sin. A computer expert relayed to me, “It is sex that is driving the development of much of the new computer technology, not military nor business use.” Make it available and people will look at it, whether you go from sketches to colored printing, or black and white photos to colored movies. The Bible makes it very clear (1 Cor. 7:2ff) that every man and every woman is vulnerable to sexual temptation and lacks self-control.

If we understand the nature of sin we will not be so dangerously deceived “with empty words” (Eph. 5:3-6). The foundation for understanding why men and women struggle with sexual sin and what to do about it is not found in the afore mentioned article. The understanding is as old as the problem and spelled out clearly in the New Testament. “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming” (Col. 3:5, 6). Paul answers the questions we should be asking: What is the real problem? Where did it come from? What we are to do about it? And, why it is vitally important to address the problem?

First, what is it? It is sexual immorality, or in the Greek, porneia. Porneia originally referred to any excessive behavior or lack of restraint. Eventually it became associated with sexual excess and indulgence. We get our word pornography from the Greek word; porn plus graph equals a writing. So porn is a writing or picture about sexual sin. Porneia includes all sexual behavior outside of marriage, including adultery, premarital sex, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and prostitution. I believe that any form of impersonal sex, masturbation, lust, fantasy or any sexual activity that disregards God or another person, including a disregard for one’s spouse, is unacceptable behavior for the true believer who wishes to glorify God in their body (1 Cor. 6:20).

The remaining vices in Col. 3:5 give us a picture of what is on the inside and further describe the true nature of sexual sin. Impurity describes any substance that is filthy or dirty and could include refuse or the content of graves. It is a filthiness of the heart and mind that make the person defiled. The word speaks of an internal disposition, an immoral filthiness on the inside. Passion is an inward emotion aroused by some external object; an impure object prompting sexual sin. To effectively deal with the problem of sexual sin we must understand the God takes action in dealing with all sexual sin. Paul states, “God gave them up to dishonorable (degrading) passions” (Rom. 1:26). At the same time we have the responsibility to “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions” (Rom. 6:12). Passions express themselves in bodily activity. Rather than falling into an addiction through the influence of our family of origin or the Internet, the dreadful picture is that a person who claims to be a believer can yield to sexual temptation and then has no immunity to the consequences of becoming a slave to that sexual sin.

Being a slave to our passions, which is a heart condition not an addiction, leads to being driven by our desires for wrong things. Evil desires are strong desires which are a perversion of our God-given desires and which are unrestrained and originate in what is earthly or our sin nature. Covetousness, which is idolatry is a word that means a strong desire to acquire more and more, especially that which is forbidden. It is a desire to have more regardless of one’s need. Peter makes the connection between lust and greed (covetousness), “They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin. They entice unsteady souls. They have hearts trained in greed” (2 Peter 2:14).

The next question that Paul answers, Where did it come from? “Put to death, therefore what is earthly in you” (Col. 3:5). Clearly, the problem in on the inside. All men and women are vulnerable to sexual sin; we all have within us a nature that exists for self, not for the glory of God. It is within us to do, to say, to act in ways that serve our needs, our goals, and our purpose. Meaningful sexual intimacy must involve a lifetime commitment between one man and one woman in which they give emotionally, spiritually, relationally and sexuality for God’s divine glory and purpose. Anything less is a perversion of the will of God and leads to destruction.

This leads to the next question, What to do about it? Three words say it all, “Put to death . . .” Putting sexual sin to death requires the work of the Spirit of God in the hearts of men and women through the process of illumination, true conviction, genuine repentance and perseverance. Today we know the concept behind these words, but know little of the experience of this kind of death. Many want to change their shameful behavior and avoid the negative consequences and expect God to do His thing without completely dying to self. In the last seventeen years I have worked with nearly 2500 people from across the US who have experienced years of sexual sin, who have struggled with every conceivable sexual behavior, who have tried recovery and failed, counseling that didn’t work, and accountability that was a fraud. Many who came for intensive counseling have found real and lasting change. The proof of change is not simply the absence of the sexual behavior, but everything changing as we learn to live out the reality that “The grace of God has appeared, . . . training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:11-13).

Real change is not the false conviction of being caught and then being riddled with shame. Nor is it a human attempt to control behavior in fear of serious consequences. Nor is it a matter of accountability that asks hard questions but frequently fails because one is only as accountable as one wants to be. It is a death of self, death to being self-centered and becoming God-centered and other-centered. “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died , and you life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:1-3).

Finally, why is it vitally important to address the problem? Almost everyone begins to deal with their sexual sin when they are caught. The pressure is on to do something when the secret is out and the person has been arrested, they’ve lost their job or are threatened with losing their wife and family. This is not the most effective motivation for putting sexual sin to death. It is a calculated but limited human response designed to improve one’s situation. The Lord Jesus demands a deeper obedience, a high regard for God’s commands. He raises the bar under grace for everyone who struggles with sexual sin. “You have heard that it was said’ You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28). The Lord’s unpopular motivation for changes comes from a different perspective than the model of addiction can ever create. “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” (vs. 29). This severe demand demonstrates the radical nature of the problem. Eyes don’t cause lust. It is not the eye that literally needs to be torn out, but the heart and mind must be effectively dealt with because everything is at stake. Put to death what is in you! Paul knew the warning and states, “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Rom. 8:13). Putting to death sexual sin is the ultimate choice and we can’t afford to get it wrong.

I have spent the last 29 years counseling individuals, couples and families caught in the bondage of sexual sin. During the first five years I was a treatment coordinator for abusive families and specialized in working with incestuous families. The next five years was spent in a Christian counseling center where most of my counseling load consisted of referrals from Golden Valley Hospital where Patrick Carnes directed the first sexual dependency unit. For almost two years I worked as an inpatient therapist in a psychiatric hospital and the majority of my patients where classified as sex addicts. Since then I have devoted myself to the ministry of Stone Gate Resources, where I pioneered Brief Intensive Counseling, an eight day intensive program that addresses the problems of adultery, pornography, homosexuality, voyeurism, exhibitionism and prostitution. In 1990, I wrote False Intimacy, the first book written from a biblical perspective on the subject of sexual addiction. The book has been translated into Portuguese, Russian, Italian and Spanish. In the last seventeen years I have spoken on this subject at retreats, conferences, colleges and universities, and churches across America and in Europe, Asia, and Latin America. I say all that to say this:

• The problem is not the Internet.
• The problem is not pornography.
• The problem is not a disease.
• The problem is not so much an addiction, but a bondage to sin.
• The problem does not originate from a dysfunctional/shame-based family.
• The problem is not the result of nature brain chemicals, androgens or changes in brain circuitry.

The problem is:

• A deep rooted self-centeredness in the heart.
• An arrogant disregard for God and others.
• An appetite to have and possess what is filthy.
• A power that is beyond imagination.
• A bondage to one’s own passions and evil desires.
• A loss of control of our passions and desires.

In future posts I will develop these thoughts in greater detail to offer hope and real change to those caught in the slavery of sexual sin and to marriages being torn by the jagged claws of deceit, betrayal and mistrust.

Copyrighted 2008 Harry W. Schaumburg. For web posting, please link to this page on our website. Any exceptions must be approved by Harry Schaumburg.